I like to take care of my children, my house, my husband....I don't do their homework or solve their problems or get upset when they don't do the chores, but my husband says I "enable" them to be irresponsible. He tells me I am raising them to be "disfunctional".....I am not afraid of confrontation with the kids or disiplining them when needed...I try to be a good example and I believe they know I am there for them. I do way more for my husband than my children. I guess my question is what exactly is an enabler? I've come a long way in my recovery as an ACOA...now my husband feels like I don't listen to him and I don't care about his imput. The only thing that matters is what I think...What is happening is that I am making my own choices and believing in my instincts. I just don't thing he is right about everything anymore like I used to. Now he leaves all the time because he can't stand how I deal with the kids....Who exactly is the one with the problem here?? I can't seem to figure it out. Is making sure they clean their bedrooms everyday and take out the trash that big of a deal in the big picture?? Is giving them more chores going to make them more responsible?? They all do awesome in school and sports and are looked up to by their peers....am I missing something here???