SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

Katey · 11-08-2003, 07:02 PM

I'm in a mess. I'm depressed for no good reason, everything in my life is fine, I'm intelligent, attractive, have lots of friends and family who care about me, have lots of money, etc. I'm not upset about anything, I'm simply miserable. If there were a reason then I could do something to go about fixing the reason, but there is not. I must simply lack adequate seratonin.

My problem is that I don't know how to cure this. If I enjoyed doing anything then I'd do that, but nothing makes me happy. I don't see how doing things that most people do can make people happy, like going out, playing sport, dancing, playing computer/video games, or even sex. They seem pointless, and more to the point, do not make me happy or less bored. Nothing gets rid of the depression. Well actually, one thing alone has worked, and that's taking ecstacy. It actually makes me feel happy, and that's all that I want from life. But I know that it will probably be harmful to me, and I don't want to **** myself up any further. The problem is, it seems to me as if there is nothing else.

Obviously if there is no other possible way for me to be happy then I will continue taking drugs, although this really isn't something I want to do, it is only a last resort. But I really need something else, if it exists, that could make me happy and help me cope. I guess my problem is that I'm making myself so sick with drug use. I don't know anyone else (who isn't bullemic) who throws up on a daily basis from being utterly stupid and drinking too much or taking other drugs. I'm scared that I'll kill myself one day unintentionally by taking something I shouldn't. But it is still much better than being sober and depressed. Considering drugs is sort of my problem, I actually came here because of the alcohol and narcotics forums and not for depression, but those forums seem to be about staying sober, which I can do very easily. Physically I'm not addicted to anything, so I can stop taking drugs whenever I want to, however taking drugs and risking death is a better option than being constantly depressed.

Can anyone tell me what to do? I'm looking for another alternative to drugs to feel happy, but I cannot find one. I don't want to die on account of my own stupidity.

Thank you.

11-08-2003, 07:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
Katey Paused Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 11	I don't know what to do I'm in a mess. I'm depressed for no good reason, everything in my life is fine, I'm intelligent, attractive, have lots of friends and family who care about me, have lots of money, etc. I'm not upset about anything, I'm simply miserable. If there were a reason then I could do something to go about fixing the reason, but there is not. I must simply lack adequate seratonin. My problem is that I don't know how to cure this. If I enjoyed doing anything then I'd do that, but nothing makes me happy. I don't see how doing things that most people do can make people happy, like going out, playing sport, dancing, playing computer/video games, or even sex. They seem pointless, and more to the point, do not make me happy or less bored. Nothing gets rid of the depression. Well actually, one thing alone has worked, and that's taking ecstacy. It actually makes me feel happy, and that's all that I want from life. But I know that it will probably be harmful to me, and I don't want to **** myself up any further. The problem is, it seems to me as if there is nothing else. Obviously if there is no other possible way for me to be happy then I will continue taking drugs, although this really isn't something I want to do, it is only a last resort. But I really need something else, if it exists, that could make me happy and help me cope. I guess my problem is that I'm making myself so sick with drug use. I don't know anyone else (who isn't bullemic) who throws up on a daily basis from being utterly stupid and drinking too much or taking other drugs. I'm scared that I'll kill myself one day unintentionally by taking something I shouldn't. But it is still much better than being sober and depressed. Considering drugs is sort of my problem, I actually came here because of the alcohol and narcotics forums and not for depression, but those forums seem to be about staying sober, which I can do very easily. Physically I'm not addicted to anything, so I can stop taking drugs whenever I want to, however taking drugs and risking death is a better option than being constantly depressed. Can anyone tell me what to do? I'm looking for another alternative to drugs to feel happy, but I cannot find one. I don't want to die on account of my own stupidity. Thank you.