[Doug]

A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party.
>
> He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head
> and his leg so he writes to a costume company to
> explain his problem.
>
> A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:
>
> Dear Sir,
>
> Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
> The spotted handkerchief Will cover your bald head and, with your
> wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
> The man thinks this is terrible because they have
> emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of
> complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which
> says:
>
> Dear Sir,
> Please find enclosed a monk's ha bit. The long robe
> will cover your Wooden leg and, with your bald head,
> you will really look the part.
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co.
>
> Now the man is really upset since they have gone from
> emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald
> head so again he writes the company another nasty
> letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small
> parcel and a note, which reads:
>
> Dear Sir,
>
> Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of
> crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head,
> pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass
> and go as a caramel apple.
>
> Very truly yours,
> Acme Costume Co