| feeling sad and lonely
Today something triggered a strong urge to get a bottle of wine, a movie and a pizza. How nice it would have been to relax on the couch fill my stomach and catch a buzz. I think it was the fact that my wife didn't return any of my calls today and her cell phone was turned off. We haven't even been seperated for a week and already I'm feeling lonely. I had so many thoughts racing through my head all night. I started wondering why she didn't return my calls. Is she seeing someone already? Oh of course that's usually the first thought I guess. Maybe she just doesn't like me anymore. Maybe its just that her cell phone battery is dead. Either way, I'm sitting in my little house in the woods with no company but my dog and feeling sorry for myself. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Usually I'm so busy (ADHD) I just don't get this way. Prozac helps also. A lot of big events have hit me in these past two weeks and I think it all came crashing down today. I felt a sudden wave of insecurity, sadness, and lonlieness all at the same time. I guess it's just one of those bad days, but after writing this I'm starting to feel better already! I feel great knowing that I didn't give in to the urge. I guess that's what people mean when they say "one day at a time."
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