Originally Posted by
historyteach 
You're in a depressed state of mind, with good cause. You're under much stress.
What are you doing t help yourself during this stressful period?
Have you gone to alanon meetings?
As for your daughter, you cannot get her help unless she is an immediate danger to herself or others. Your best bet is to focus on yourself. Stop enabling her by giving her the food and necessities she needs. As long as you do that, she doesn't have to deal with any of the consequences of her actions. .... They are adults and are making choices. Allow her the dignity of living with them.
Yes, I've been going to Alanon for two years and it has been a great help in dealing with her alcoholism...but I feel very alone when it comes to the mental illness.
I understand that drinking is a choice - I understand the 3 "c's" of Alanon - but mentall illness is not a choice my daughter is making. She is ill, her mind is not working properly - she is so paranoid and delusional and psychotic she is refusing treatment. She believes people are trying to kill her and she believes that everything she says is being broadcast on the radio.
I would not walk past a person who was lying on the side of the road with a broken leg, I would try to help them. My daughter's mind is broken, and because she is mentally ill she does not believe she needs treatment. And the administrator at the local hospital has told me that the only way she will get any treatment is on a voluntary basis. This means that she will not get the medical treatment she needs simply because she happens to be mentally ill and paranoid and delusional. (I am not in the United States, and I am researching Involuntary Commitment laws in my country).
I understand it might give me more peace and serenity to just give up and stop giving her food but it breaks my heart to do that for two reasons -
1. she is sick and vulnerable and
2. I know for a fact she will prostitue herself for food if necessary - she has done it before for booze.