Well I am feeling a little more motivated today. I guess 2 days of not boozing it up helps.
I did drink on Tuesday and last night but only 2 glasses of wine both nights and then went to bed early. I have been so very tired. I woke up at midnight and couldn't sleep so I began thinking. Maybe I will go to a meeting Friday. I am very scared though. I am a very private person when it comes to my feelings. I usually bottle them up and hide them from everyone. I don't even discuss my family with co-workers and I am not close to anyone at work. I have no close friends. I drowned myself in my last bf and told him everything and shared everything that I basically blocked everyone else out but my mom. Not that I really had any close friends to begin with. I do not open up and have a hard time meeting ppl and new situations are scary to me. Heck if I am following a map and think I am going the wrong way I cry in fright.
My kids go to their dad's for the weekend and I have Friday night alone which is also one of the hardest times not to go out and hit the bars. Saturday my daughter has bowling so that keeps me out of trouble taking her there are then driving her back to her dads but then Saturday night alone and bar time again. The weekends are my hardest times when I am the weakest. Monday through Thursday the craving hits after work but if I get right home and keep busy till bed then I can cope pretty well. I also seen there is a chat at noon today Eastern which is right at my lunch time so I am thinking of tuning in.