[akimmel1302]

Well i still get depressed almost everyday...the worst part? I know i shouldn't....i know what to do when i am depressed, i know that it is a comfort zone for me, i know that it is just something i do to sit in my pity and take the easy way out, and i know that i crave being depressed and its one of my biggest defects....the other thing is i have no reason to be!!!

5 good things in my life which prove i shouldnt be depressed..
1) Ive been sober for a year now and am continuing to go to AA and work the steps and things like that so that i can stay sober
2) I have a place to live where my 2 best friends live and a great role model
3) my family relationship is awesome and i get along better than ever with my family now
4) I have a job that allows me service work and a way to give back to others being a peer counselour (sp?) at a teen drug treatment center where i get paid not a lot but i dont have bills so it doesnt matter
5) and i really have no worries...i am ina position to completely focus on myself and helping others without having too much stress in my life....

Now let me ask you this...Why am i still sitting in my depression?
You may say i need medicine but i have been on it and i feel like i do not...i just need to stay out of this depression but it is hard because i feed off of it....and its worse becasue i know all of that and when i am sitting in the depression i say to myself...."i am feeding off of my depression because it is a comfort zone"

im just a crazy alcoholic i guess.....Any help? Oh man.