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When I worked the first step with my sponsor we started out by me telling him my story. This took two sit down sessions of about an hour and a half each. What unfolded was the truth about my drinking. The loss of control, the attempts in vain to regain control, the progression, the consequences. The mental state became apparent before the first drink, particularly the times I drank after I had some sober time and exposure to this program. We then read The Doctor's Opinion, More About Alcoholism, There is a Solution, and the 12&12. He then had me do an unmanageability list which revealed the effects my drinking had on others, my financial, professional life and legal effects. In the end, I was defeated. It was then that I realized that I had two options. One was to continue down a path to a certain alcoholic death, the other was to follow a spiritual path of recovery from a seemingly hopeless state of mind , body and spirit. I was left with no other options. I had already tried all of those options, and they had led back to the first option....alcoholic death. That is when I started picking up the spiritual tools my sponsor and others in my home group were laying at my feet. I needed to know at the deepest levels that I was defeated and that I was beyond human aid. While it doesn't feel good, and it didn't feel good to me either, feelings aren't based on fact. And the reality is I had hope. My sponsor told me that if I was willing to go to any length, then he would show me how he got sober. The next thing I knew we were at step 2. I saw a post earlier about working the 4th step without a sponsor, and I just can't imagine doing any of this deal without one. I resisted sponsorship for so long, what can I say, I was insane.
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