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HKAngel24 · 10-18-2007, 04:03 AM

Jenna --

I am SO sorry for your pain.
I have been where you are - when the depression was crushing me so deeply that I felt I couldn't even lift a limb.
Actually this past weekend was incredibly rough for me- I was SCARY depressed, so much so that I became frightened at how physically consuming it can be. I've been on new meds for almost a year now that have really helped alter the physical aspect of my depression- that has always been the worst, my inability to be motivated to do ANYTHING at all and to feel like I was dragging five bowling balls around on my ankles. The hopelessness and despair so consuming and drowning that you cannot even see over the top. I have been in and out of treatment centers for years of my life when I was younger for my eating disorder so I know the process well.

You are inspirational and strong for knowing that ONLY you are going to be able to put yourself back together. I think that "normies" misunderstand other's mental health issues and often I find, I am very sensitive to that. But of course, I am incredibly self-loathing so I like to take any evidence that I am defective and tack it up on my wall for continual self abuse.

Maybe you have done so before, but I found it helpful to get memoirs of those who have struggled with chronic depression. I am thinking of you. Please know you're not alone.

10-18-2007, 04:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
HKAngel24 Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 518	Jenna -- I am SO sorry for your pain. I have been where you are - when the depression was crushing me so deeply that I felt I couldn't even lift a limb. Actually this past weekend was incredibly rough for me- I was SCARY depressed, so much so that I became frightened at how physically consuming it can be. I've been on new meds for almost a year now that have really helped alter the physical aspect of my depression- that has always been the worst, my inability to be motivated to do ANYTHING at all and to feel like I was dragging five bowling balls around on my ankles. The hopelessness and despair so consuming and drowning that you cannot even see over the top. I have been in and out of treatment centers for years of my life when I was younger for my eating disorder so I know the process well. You are inspirational and strong for knowing that ONLY you are going to be able to put yourself back together. I think that "normies" misunderstand other's mental health issues and often I find, I am very sensitive to that. But of course, I am incredibly self-loathing so I like to take any evidence that I am defective and tack it up on my wall for continual self abuse. Maybe you have done so before, but I found it helpful to get memoirs of those who have struggled with chronic depression. I am thinking of you. Please know you're not alone. __________________ Heather "You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."