[Lady_Blue]

Waytogo....Arura! I'm SO HAPPY for you. You're an amazing miracle.
LBAD...maybe you need some Robitussin? I can't take antihistamines either. I'm hypersensensitive to em'....they make me SHAKE, and feel all paranoid. Not a GOOD feeling. I'd rather be "snotty". lol

I am transforming, and it's the most wonderful feeling I've had in YEARS. I can't explain it, but I now know what you all said when you told me "I REALLY GOTTA WANT IT." I'm not fighting my recovery now. I'm going with it. Damn..what a difference this time. I'm KNOW my addiction was physical...for sure. I think the ONLY difference this time is I'm not doing it alone, or just on he internet (even tho you all helped me get there!)...but the mental part of the addiction...I'm working & not isolating. That's what got me back to using EVERYTIME. I went to a meeting last night that's not my favorite...but it was a good one last nite. I'm told that's when I really NEED to go...when I don't want to. I'm commiting to this FULL steam ahead. I got my very own copy of 12 steps & 12 traditions AND 24 hours a day last nite. Also, a recovering addict/alc. shared her copy of NA Big Book w/ me to read, as I've already read the AA big book. Last Wed., at the AA meeting, a lady w/ 20 yrs sober from booze told US addicts/(alc) that WE cannot get what THEY have (FROM AA) IF we are addicts. I listened...didn't argue. I disagree. The only meetings I've been to so far are AA, and EVERYTHING I hear fits me to a t......I remembered what L said...take what we want & leave the rest...I left that there. I will never be able to repay you L or A. I seen a sign somewhere awhile ago that saiud "Only when you give something to someone that they can never repay you for have you truly given from the heart".
I "get it"...NOW. That's what you've BOTH done for me. Thank you seems so little to say....
Big hugs comin' all the way to everyone here. I truly love you. Thanx AGAIN.... Always #. (That's my new name, short for LB..ladyblue)