Hi Done with it,
Wow! It can be pretty crazy and stressful can't it? When someone we love spins out of control? It can take us along on the ride if we let it. You are among friends. People who understand that it's so hard in the beginning to know what to do. what is helping and what is trying to control the situation, and what is enabling?
Addiction is a very powerful problem. Please see all the stickys above the posts. But I will weigh in just a little. An addict will blame someone else. almost always! so don't take it personally. Because blaming themselves and taking responsiblity is the first step in recovery and they are not there yet. I know that thats my son's MO. I know you are coming here to try and help her but believe me when I say you need to help yourself first. I have met many people who focused on themselves instead of the addict, and regained their sanity. this sanity acted like a magnet for the addict. they wanted that sanity for themelves and began to look for help. But even if your wife doesn't want help, you will need it to survive this for you and your son.
Read the sticky about codependency. lots of good advice for the road ahead. Keep coming back here and read past posts on similar problems. this helped me lots.
anyways, people here care and its a safe place from the storm. Prayers for you.
