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Originally Posted by DaVinci2  It's says to forgive others. Some people in my life have committed acts that have, in my eyes, permanently changed the way I see them. I understand that we must forgive others, but what if when I see this person I can't? What if I don't have the power in me to reach out my hand and say "All is forgiven." because the act the person committed itself is not as simple as those 3 words.. |
There is a story in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it is the next to the last story, it is called "Freedom From bondage." This story saved my life. In 1998 I had someone sneek up to my house and try and kill me. Of course they did not get the job done and I was terrified as a result. They were arrested, charged, and sentenced. It was a supended sentence and they remained free. I was drinking and using drugs very heavely at the time and had thought about killing this person myself. I was just waiting for the opportunity when my alcoholism took me dragging through another bottom experience of Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, and Despiar (the hidious Four Horsemen). I decided to once more try going to treatment (7th time) and sober up. I had such anger and resentment toward this person that I knew I could not stay sober this time unless I resolved my problem. The story in the Big Book gave me the solution. It said if you have a resentment you cannot forgive, then to pray for that person for two weeks. Pray for them to have everything that you want for yourself. I hated this guy but wanted to stay sober more. It said to pray for them even when you don't want to. To just say the words even if you don't believe them. I prayed for this guy for two weeks to have peace, serenity, prosperity, health, friends, salvation, and the favor of God. Man I hated doing that, it was hard and I did not even mean the words I was saying. At about ten days I thought this is not working, I still felt the same. Then it happened.........on day fourteen I saw him in a different light. I saw him as a sick man, alcoholic like myself, and out of God's will. Something happened in my heart and I can only explain it as being compassion. I had begun to see him as God saw him. I did not like him, but was experiencing love toward him (expecting not to be loved back in return). I was able to forgive him. Today I know that if I had not been able to forgive him, I probably would have gotten drunk again. I would have been miserable to say the least. He died this year and I found out for sure that God had given me the gift of forgiving others. I did not feel any joy or happiness when he died. As a matter of fact I felt sorrow. Sorrow that he did not receive his healing, his prosperity, or his deliverance from alcohol. I am truly a changed man because of the whole affair. I do not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it, and I see how my experiences can benefit others. God did for me what I could not do for myself................toad