[GiveLove]

For some reason, H and I are trading old Rodney Dangerfield jokes today. I think we are required by law to say "I don't get no respect" before, and "ba-DUM-bum" after, each and every one:


My mother would never breastfeed me as a kid. She said
she only liked me as a friend.

Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him
to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you
think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know
kid. There are so many places they can hide."

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's
nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life
at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the
morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him,
"If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He
said, "All right. You're ugly. too."

I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a
slingshot.

I was such an ugly kid........When I played in the
sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys
were a toaster and a radio.


Ba-DUM-bum.