Journeygal,
Thanks a lot for the info. This is great stuff. I used to be like this, but got over it, probably from intensive group work and being constantly vigilante. I am active in a 12 step love relationship group in Paris.
Knowing it´s an obsession, not love, took some doings to get into my skull, although I understood quickly that my "love" was not healthy.I acted as if, and started sorting out the men I met really quickly. But it took years to get to this stage. I think it took about 7 years with a lot of practice of meeting wrong guys.
I´m still a bit obsessive; I see a man and get intensely attracted. But as soon as I feel he is not right for me, and it happens now real soon, I let him go and never look back. When it´s over, it´s over and I accept it.