|
sorry i tend to get less and less coherent.
mistypes thats all. day ok was daYOK.
I start day good and now I feel worse than bad. I sit crying into pc wanting to have guts to stop the misery returning and feel resentful that I can't. I am sorry but there it is. Knowing just doesn't cut anyice. yeah yeah it is all 'symptoms' the shrink tells me. it is my brain kidding me on. I have had enough of it doing this.
I want to look forward to tomorrow but I dread it and if I am honest I hate the fact that no one knows how flaming hard it is for me to take the journey rather than one directly intpo hospital. it is not enough that I do it but i have to be shiny and happy and enjoy the captivity and be a super mum super wife, sober driver and every bloody thing else when I really want to crawl under my duvet and say goodnight. I want to enjoy life again. I can't fully and neither can my family. I hate me for spoiling it all for them. I hate it all being so damned hard.
hippy
|