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Thank you all so much. It's a huge weight off just being here and having people to talk to. The vast majority of my friends can't even fathom why I'm still fighting to save my marriage. Their intentions are good, but the pressure and guilt they lay on me is sometimes overwhelming.
I don't blame myself for his drinking, I do blame myself for letting my life get so far away from me. My kids have been through way too much crap. Kids shouldn't have to live around an alcoholic and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself. My daughter still adores him, but my son, (who is his step son) hates him, and for good reason. My AH was always very hard on him. So I'm also somewhat stuck in a no win situation. Do I hurt my daughter by ending it all, or do I hurt my son by staying with him? My son is currently living with his father. I feel that if I'd have been a better mother to him, he'd still be here with me. I guess I just feel like a failure all around.
Thanks again for listening.
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