Sorry about all this,but glad you found us!
Much of what you describe sounds familiar. When I said No beer and treatment before returning....well,that didn't fly with my exAH.
Have you read any of the "Getting Them Sober" books;this topic is dicussed. (see
http://www.GettingThemSober.com)
Hope you stick around.lots of good information and great people ;helps me so much!
p.s. "Light" beer just has fewer calories.....not less alcohol, I am told.