[ozzie]

This is my first post here, although I have been reading for a few months.
I have been involved with my AH for 18 years, married for 14, and I knew from the beginning that he was a drinker, sometimes worse than others, but drinking most days. I am 50 and he is almost 59.
He has always been employed, and the drinking never interfered with his ability to earn a good wage. We have a lovely home, and he is always working to make it nice, keeping it well maintained and neat and tidy. A big problem in our marriage has been that the house became almost an obsession with him, and over the last two years he became very anti-social. He would be drinking while he was working around the house and yard. If I wanted to go anywhere or do anything with him, it was always "He has to mow the lawn" or "He has to paint the windows" etc. I tried to talk to him about it, but was always just brushed off.
Anyway, 6 weeks ago I left. I moved into a small place, just me and my dogs, and I thought I'd be happy. He has rung a few times, never drunk, and we have spoken civilly for the first time in years.
Now, he wants to try a reconcilliation. I am so confused. I am not happy living where I am, but I made it clear to him that I will not go back to what it was. I gave him a long list of things that I want changed before I will consider it, and I asked him what he wants me to change. The things he wants me to change are very minor, and very possible for me to do.
He says that he thought he was doing the right thing by giving me a nice house to live in, and he thought that was what I wanted. I had never told him exactly what I want in a relationship, and I realise now that I should have done that before moving out. We have talked about selling the house we have and buying a smaller one with a lot less maintenance, therefore having more time to spend together, and also making a point of doing things together. So on that note I am willing to try.
The major thing I need changed from his is the drinking. He has agreed to cut down, and only drink light beer. He had done that for the two months before I left, and ever since I have been gone. (I have heard from other people as well) He has said that he is amazed how much better he feels not drinking so much. He has assured me that he will do that forever, but can he be trusted? I so want to believe him, but I am so scared.
I am certainly not ready to pack up and move back, I know a lot of work needs to be done by both of us.
Can a reconcilliation like this work or am I kidding myself? He has never admitted to being an alcoholic, so I know he will never seek treatment. I would be happy if he could control it like he seems to be doing.
I would love to hear the opinions of the experienced people here.
Pauline