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there's a fair amount of willpower the is require to work the 12steps.
it's term as WILLINGNESS. Or draging my ass to a meeting.
I can choose to be pro active instead of being reactive.
The 12 steps term it as charector building.
However when I get into the realm of depression or complusive, obessesive
disorders or my defence against the first drink it's a totally different ball game.
The moment that I think I'm well adjusted or what is termed NORMAL, I'm screwed.
Try making your body move or getting out of bed when youre in a depression.
If you suffer from depression , you'll know what I'm saying.
The closest i can explain it is my body is not connected to my brain.
No matter what command i give my body it just won't move or get an action.
it was a bit confussing at first about being powerless over people, place
and things. Because I've work with things or contraptions.
I've forced things to work, it'll only work for a while or it was a pain
in the ass to put it all together. it seems like a struggle at best.
Then I've also witness when i trun everything over to a HP , even
the contraption I'm working with, things work out smoother or go
together better, Sometimes things might go wrong. At first I might
get fuastrated, but after taking a closer look. it was a good thing
something when wrong or it didn't work. Becuase if i had put the
contraption into flight it would had blown up and i would had seriouley
gotten hurted.
Events like that just totally blows my mind.
I get a asking..so who or what is really in charge ?
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