Hi, I'm Jenna and I'm bipolar. Welcome to my informational and daily writing journal. My primary goal is educating myself and helping others learn how to minimize the affects of mental illness on our daily lives. Journaling helps me put my emotions and thoughts into words (and get them out of my head
) and also helps me record things i learn along the way. Not everything i write is specific to my moods or mental illness, but rather my life from day-to-day which includes my co-dependency struggles in relationships with others, work issues, self-esteem issues, family issues, addiction issues, etc.
PLEASE feel free to jump in and post anything, anytime or ask any questions you may have. I don't want anyone to feel they need to be "caught up" on any of my threads to post. So post at will :P
I found my way to SoberRecovery.com in August of 2004, amidst my second major depressive episode. I was searching out answers for a very toxic relationship i was enmeshed in with a late-stage alcoholic when i came across SR. It was shortly after that I began to realize my bipolar diagnosis and connect the dots around what i was going through at that time....all thanks to SR!
From those beginning "Aha!" moments, one person here at SR helped me feel human in my struggles rather than the sub-human, pathetic thing the world was trying so hard to make me believe i was. Liveweyerd stood as a beacon of light in my darkest of hours and has since become a most cherished friend. She has seen me through the worst and the best thus-far and i can never thank her enough for her continued support and friendship through these years.
So, this is the beginning of my 4th year for my bipolar/depression recovery efforts. Just for my own wanting to keep tabs on them, here is my 3rd year journal
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rnal-iii.html; (Major depression/Bipolar Journal III) 2nd year
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...year-2-a.html; (Bipolar/ major depression journal part 2 (year 2)) and 1st year
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...im-scared.html (Please help. I'm in the throws of a bipolar episode and I'm scared!).
A little about me:
I have two main interests - psychology and photography. This is evident in nearly every aspect of my life and if you were to look around my home office room you will find little more than books relating to both subjects. I work as a photojournalist (a newspaper photographer) and have been in that line of learning and working since around 1999 - hence my screen name "shutterbug"
When i found SR i was working as a reporter and photojournalist at my hometown paper and was met by tons of discrimination when i disclosed that i had discovered i was bipolar and needed to be hospitalized in order to receive treatment and medication as quickly as possible. While struggling just to live, i was also fighting a nasty boss who was set on firing me. He did and i was too sick to file a lawsuit against this action in time (i was about 14 days late filing the tons of paperwork necessary). Although it is hard for me to be thankful to that horrid man...i am. I was able to go on unemployment and slowly come out of the major depression while resting (actually while sleeping most of the time). Since then i have become more successful than i would have thought possible during those times.
I was contemplating going on full-disability, but now am the chief photographer of a very wonderful corporate newspaper. I have earned more substantial awards since my employment at this paper than in the 3 years at the toxic hometown paper and regularly find my work in national papers across the country and globe; and my abilities and successes continue to grow.
My point in telling this is primarily one of this: A bipolar diagnosis is NOTHING to be ashamed about nor fear. It is what it is and knowledge can bring wellness and success in living a good life. Although many bipolars do decide to go social security disability, many also find they can continue working successfully and can realize many dreams and goals in life. I believe we are only limited to our own determinations to live as we decide and to continue pushing forward. This is not to say that I don't think I'll ever go on disability, but rather...at the present time i am doing well by pushing ahead with everything i have available to me. Things can always change, this I know all too well.
Here are some links from around SR and the web that you may find beneficial:
Mental Illness Screening Tools:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ning-tool.html (Screening Tool) http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...creeningcenter
Signs and Symptoms of Mood Disorder (DBSA):
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...Signs_symptoms
What is Recovery (for bipolar/depression):
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...=recoverysteps
What is Bipolar Disorder?
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...creeningcenter
Forms of Bipolar Disorder:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-disorder.html (Forms of Bipolar Disorder)
Physical Symptoms of Depression:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...epression.html (Physical illness a symptom of depression???)
Sleep symptoms: (a VERY important part of staying stable, happy and well as sleep deprivation alone can mimic a mood disorder like bipolar)
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/Page...out_sleep_what
Antidepressants vs. Mood Stabilizers:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...abilizers.html (Antidepressants vs mood stabilizers) http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ed-thread.html (The Med Thread)
Member Indigo's struggles with bipolar son and suicide attempts:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...polar-son.html (Bipolar son)
As STRESS is a major issue on our lives...here's a link about de-stressing:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ce-stress.html
Famous Bipolars and excerpts from Patty Duke's "A Brilliant Madness" on the "Creativity Connection" to mood disorders:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-illness.html (Famous bipolars and others - a creative illness?)
Depression Causes, Symptoms and Treatment:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...treatment.html Other support communities: www.nami.org (National Alliance on Mental Illness- this is a site with TONS of information and also lists links, addresses and phone numbers for you to find support in your local area. It also features online communities with forums for specific mental illnesses)
www.dbsalliance.org (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance - similar to NAMI, but more specific to depression and bipolar issues. This is a wonderful organization which offers free support groups all across the country for free to friends and family of those suffering from depression and/or bipolar and support groups also to those of us directly affected. And i actually just now noticed they offer an online mood tracking tool...so I'm going to go register for that right now!)
www.depressionforums.org (or click here to go straight to the list of forums
http://www.depressionforums.org/foru...ex.php?act=idx)
http://www.recoveryworks.info/forum/ (a fairly new community support site quite similar in layout to SR)
Hugs,
Jenna