| how do you know it's coming? How do you know what it is?
I hate this. No one likes it though eh?
I have had an awful 3 weeks. Lots and lots and lots of anger. Shrink says I been having a 'high', poss mixed episodes or rapid cycling. Its started to get better. Kept on increasing my seroquel. Been feeling fine last 6 days. Today fine too until white out rage a little while ago. Real real real bad one. Smashed hand into walls, screamed, yelled, threw things, smashed hand into glass.
FFS....I thought it was done. I am now sinking down down down. Looking back on day...I have been energetic and buzzing and flighty.
I can't stand this. I can't stand living in fear of my anger. It never used to be like this I am a nippy bitch when angry but not like this, this is awful. I am in fear of losing my children due to losing it with one of them and contacting emergency team for help. Can't hurt them. Can't confide in any one now in case they take my children. This is not an imagined fear, I have had visit from SS as I told them the truth when I for the very first time in my childs ten years slapped her.
I don't know how to stop it other than ways too dark and permanent.
hippy
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