[laurie6781]

Don, I would hope that the Doctors at the VA have told you by now that you are experiencing some of the side affects of PTSD. Vietnam caused a lot of it, and many of the cases didn't show up until years later, after therapists and doctors got passed the alcoholism, the drug usuage, the inability to keep a job etc. It is not always flashbacks of incidences that happened.

PTSD can make a person doubt, make a person distrust, make a person have trouble seeing a 'true' reaction.

I have followed your threads over the last few years and have had great empathy for you as PTSD flashed at me from almost the first post of yours I read. No I am not a therapist, but over these many years have worked with PTSD victims in recovery and have come to understand a lot.

NO, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. You will slowly learn to trust. Probably only one person at a time. It will come. The more you can speak of these incidents that still seem to bother you and that until recently you haven't talked about, the LESS IMPORTANCE THEY WILL HAVE. i also know that even the 'younger' therapists at the VA are much more aware of PTSD because of Desert Storm and the ongoing Iragi War.

NO, YOU ARE NOT A KILLER. You did what you had to do as you were an employee of the United States Government. You were in the military and this was part of the job. You are not required no do you have to make ANY APOLOGIES for what happened in Viet Nam. Instead, this country still OWES A BIG APOLOGY to the vets who served in Viet Nam and how they were treated upon their return.

As a side note, I still believe that Jane Fonda should have been in prison for the rest of her life for treason.

Don you are recovering. As you continue down the recovery road, what other people think will no longer be a problem. You will slowly come to some acceptances and knowledge of yourself. You did NOTHING WRONG.

J M H O

Love and hugs,