[shutterbug]

I'm SO freaking PO'd at the moment it's not funny at all. I HATE the new copy editor at work. Yes...i will think that word too harsh later, but at the moment i hate her. I am physcially feeling inside the emotions of violence and hurt.

I'm going to have to go back into my journal and see if any of my recent mental/emotional struggles have been due to her presence at the paper. She is toxic, co-dependent and has such a huge inferiority complex that she HAS to go out of her way to make herself sound like "the boss" of everyone to make herself feel better.

She is TOO freaking much like the ex boss that if i had my own camera to survive on freelance gigs i would go into work tomorrow and tell our boss that it's either HER or ME!!

Yes....that's how miserable she is making me. Today was just too much to handle. I've been working SUPER hard lately to get fresh and really good images for the daily paper by learning new lighting techniques and streching my brain to do other creative lighting stuff i already know, but rarely take the time for.....and what does she do???!!!! She convinces my boss that they are UNFIT to run in the freaking paper!!

She hasn't even graduated college yet and this is her first REAL paper and yet she's trying to undermine EVERYTHING i do. I can't handle it.

Tonight she said a photo i spent my own off hours taking for an assignment was TOO damn dark to be used. She's been so late getting the paper done every night that boss was helping her layout pages tonight so he was sitting right there when she said it too. And he did nothing, said nothing.

I know i appeared to boss to be reacting like a little baby by my reactions and passive-aggressive way of responding, but short of screamign and cusing at her in front of him ....and then going off on him for not standing up for me....then that was all i could do. just get the hell out of there.

Hell, i put in an 11 hour day today too!!

And one minute she tells me she doesn't need something from me that she will take care of it....and then after i should have already been gone for the day, she tells me "I" miss-understood her and that i need to do it.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

i'm not going to be able to put up with her for very long short of snapping or quitting or getting fired.....or all of the above. It just fills my body with too many physical memories of the old paper. Yes...physcial memories....i FEEL in these situations the same way i physically felt back then when i was being torn down to nothing every moment of every day by that ass.

Well....i said it the other day....world the door is open, might as well come in and tear me down now and get it over with. Well....i didn't expect this. damn me.