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Hi Steve,
What you are doing is not easy. When those memories surface it can be very painful and frightening. I got through it by knowing that my HP was in control and I could trust that he wouldn't give me more than I could handle. The dark times were very hard. I had no support and thought I was just going crazy. I had never heard of PTSD at the time. I didn't know what a blocked memory was. I just started remembering things. It took me about 5 years to get thorugh it. My daughter went to therapy and had support and a lot of information and she worked through hers very quickly in a year. Everything you are experiencing is normal with PTSD. The depression can get very bad. The key to remember is that it will not last forever and what you are doing is the way you will be healed. Just remember to keep surrendering and don't try to force it and do it yourself. You will wear yourself out for no reason. I know you want to get it over with because it's not pleasant. I've been there.
Many hugs and keep talking about it. Talking helps the depression.
MG
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