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Steve,
Please listen to your theapist and not your sponsor if you are truly depressed. Your AA person probably knows nothing about depression and if he does he believes that it can all be cured by completing the steps. Which is proves his ignorance of depression.
You might want to think if you really need steps 4 and 5. Were you that kind of monster that those steps are designed to help. You don't give that impression. I wasn't. I drank way too much but I was not monster and manged to achieve quiet well and was considered a decent fellow by those who worked for me and knew me. AA can be very dangerous for depressed people because many people in program do believe that depression, aniexty and any other mental problem comes from the drinking. You tell a deeply depressed person to stop taking his meds because he does not need them and rather follow the steps you are setting him up for suicide. I have seen this happen.
After two weeks in treatment I had little trouble staying sober after 30 years of heavy drinking. I also went to therapy and that was a major issue. I seemed to be having it too easy. It finally dawned on me a few months ago that my primary problem was not drink but depression. I was medicating my self. After I sober up for a while and my real meds took over I had little desire to drink or agnoize over the past.
I certainly still need help and I discovered pretty much on my own that AA is not the only program that works. I have depended mostly on SMART, but there are others. Rather than me trying to explaing these programs to you go to the newcomers board and find the thread started by Elizard. Several other people have post there who are much more knowledgable than me about these programs.
I wish you the best.
Terry
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