[GiveLove]

CDK,

That's a great question to ask...what made me this way?

Funny thing is that I didn't start really UN-doing all of my codependent behaviors -- and I put up with much more than you, for a long time -- until I learned the answers. I did it through a really good counselor/therapist, but any way you can answer them will be helpful.

How did I get this way?
Was there anything about my family life that trained me to react this way?
Have I always been like this, or was there something in THIS relationship that triggered it suddenly?
Do I treat myself any better than HE treats me?
What's one small thing I could do.....tiny tiny tiny...that would start to prove to myself that I CAN be the kind of strong person I want to be?

Do not answer the phone if he calls. It's not strength, it's self-respect. Promise yourself you can call him back in one hour if you'll just let the call go to voicemail. It'll be a hard hour but you'll be teaching yourself something: you're worthy of respect and capable of being strong when you want to be.

Strength is something you grow one tiny step at a time. Think about one you can take...you deserve joy, not this madness he deals you.

Hugs,
GL