Quote:
Originally Posted by lostmdboy  I went out and it took me 7 years to get back. Somwone said lets have some beers, and I wsas off and running. For awhile I sorta controlled my drinking, and I thought since I was sober for a couple off years I was "better". Progressively I drink more often, and larger amounts. I knew I had to do something. At this point I am back in AA, and working the steps. I still cosider my self just one drink away from that other life. The whole time I was drinking I thought I was in control. I could stop any time I wanted. It is a cunning and baffling disease. It will tell you anything to get you to take that first drink. |
been there and done that.....too many times. and here i am again. i was trying to control my drinking and then fell down the proverbial rabbit hole and was gone. even when i am drinking, i am telling myself i'm quitting today..every day. but then i go to work and come home tired or something happened that i think i need to destress from and then all of a sudden im halfway thru a 12pack. im just a happy drunk and love it when im drinking but the morning after .......... the guilt and the depression and the secrecy of it. it doesn't do a body good.
in defense of myself, i stumble and i fall and i try again. im on day 7 today and ive had a lot of day 7's before. but who knows that this day 7 will be the last day seven i have. one can always have hope.
Two Japanese proverbs: Fall down seven times, get up eight.
Beginning is easy...continuing is hard.
i feel if i always get up more times than i fall, then i always have a chance to go beyond this disease and i am a good beginner but yes the continuing is so hard for me.