[hippyhippy]

For thos eof you who have read my posts over the past couple of weeks, you may know I have had problems accepting my diagnoses of BP.
Crunch time has come. I need to accept this and learn. Can I ask you guys to help me on the way?
I have been on a 'high' for the past few days. That is ok when I think I am the life and soul of a non exsistent party, but not when I am getting so angry that I hit my child.
I hate what has happened but it has taken this I think to make me really realise how little control I have, when I have been convincing myself I do. I thought I could deny the BP...I can't can I?
I am not sure what I have posted elsewhere, my mind is a little foggy.
To cut it short, I have had to seek help from emergency mental health services. I have begged them to hospitalise me. I have threatened suicide if they didn't. I am not in hospital....I just needed to take the meds.
The high is still there, I have slept two hours the last two nights. I am buzzing constantly but flighty. I am busy all the time but the house is full of unfinished tasks.
What puzzles me though, is while I was lying in bed not sleeping, and sitting at the pc in early hours of morning...I know I am having a 'high' but I still felt down?

I really need help in getting to grips with this....and my stopping boozing. I fell off wagon last night as a means of trying to control myself. I know the booze increases sedative effect of meds....so hoped it would knock me out. Didn't work....I just felt sick.

I just got back to work after 8 1/2 months. Had to go sick again. I think I am going to lose my job.

I will be a support to others when I am out of this trough. I like people and getting to know them.

Hippy