[devastated]

How could this be? How could I be a great-grandmother at such a young age! I mean really.

Well, it's true. I found out last week that my son's daughter, who is 19 years old and whom I haven't seen (thanks to her Mom) for at least 11 years, gave birth to a baby girl in May.

As you all know, my son is in a fire camp and looking great and doing well.

He has been trying for years (on and off) to get back in touch with his children. Well, he has been writing letters to the children and addressing them with the grandmother's address. He has done this for the past three years without result.

He called me last week to tell me that his daughter finally wrote to him. She told him about her baby and told him like it was. She told him he was a very bad father and he missed a great deal. She told him that she and her brother have had a difficult time in this life because he was never there for them, and God knows they didn't have the best mother in the world. In short, she told him like it was.

He accepts the wrath because he knows he deserves it. He wrote back asking that she forgive him for all his bad choices. She told him that her brother, his son, will probably never forgive him and wants nothing to do with him. He understands, but still prays that somewhere along the line he will learn to forgive him. He is 16 years old now and hasn't talked to his father for probably 5 years.

In his defense I know he tried many times; however, he is so far behind in child support that he has lost any rights he may have had.

The mother also cut Mr. Dev and I off a long time ago. We went to court probably 5 times. I got grandparent rights but she would never give me her phone number as sh was suppose to do. Instead we would go to court and she would tell the judge she didn't have a phone. It would be the same thing every time. The judge would say as soon as you get one you need to give it to the grandmother. She would agree, but never did it. She moved away and never told me where. I finally lost contact with them.

We always had good times when we were together and I'm sure she remembers that about us. My son gave her my phone number, so perhaps she will call. We will see.

Just to let you all know that miracles do happen. Prayers help too!

As fo the boy, he is looking wonderful and doing well. He has the funniest sense of humour and even Mr. Dev has visited him with me.

I'll just tell you one funny thing that happened when we went to see him. Mind you he is in a beautiful environment in the redwoods and it's fun to visit him.

Last week we were there for a visit and before they let him hug us, they search him. Just as the guard was frisking each leg (you know the routine right?) my son said, "I love a man with strong hands!" The guard started laughing so hard, then said "get out of here!"

He was telling us that when he got there they interviewed him and asked him if he had any nicknames. He said you mean when I was a kid? They said yes like what, if anything, did your mom call you. He said, "Oh, ok, you mean like A==hole?" They almost died laughing. Me too!

He's been doing great. I asked him what happened to the ADD & BIPOLAR problem, as he certainly can visit with us and stay focused on the conversation.
Hmmmm? makes one think it may be drugs huh?

They kicked out six guys last week for dirty tests. He said they have got to be crazy to screw up and have to go back behind the wall. I mean if you have to be incarcerated, you couldn't ask for a nicer place.

In all the times he has been in various prisons and camps, Mr. Dev has never visited. The only reason he came this time is he didn't want me to drive the roads alone. Silly him.

Aren't you glad I don't post very often? It takes a month to read. Sorry, I've just got so much to say all the time.

Hugs, Devastated