SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Self-esteem issues and relationships......

Jwife22 · 08-10-2007, 07:08 AM

Hi Pony--

I can relate to alot of what you wrote. My personal experience, and I am going to be totally honest here cause I'm not ready to admit this to my husband yet, is that I tend to say things like, I am gonna do this diet or that exercise or man I wish I could fit into a size 8 or something like that....but I don't follow through. Then when I don't follow through and I see all these bikinis and bathing suits, I am not happy that I don't have the figure (well atleast I don't think) to get into one. Well, that gets me into an even bigger funk and I think about just giving up all around...eating what I want, not moving my butt off the couch, not doing a darn thing.

So, after a while, my husband says things like, well, maybe you shouldn't eat that or maybe you should start walking a treadmill etc. Things like, you know if you just watched what you ate for a while and really stuck to it, you'd be able to get into that bathing suit you saw or that size 8. I get so MAD and HURT but more and more recently, I have come to realize that maybe just maybe he is saying these things because I say them about myself. He says he is trying to be encouraging and helpful but it still HURTS me. So instead of believing that, I start emotional eating because I feel fat and feel like he doesn't find me attractive and that no man would ever want me if we weren't together.

I guess what I am really saying is that I say all these things to myself or to him and that's okay but when it comes down to him saying them, I don't like it.

08-10-2007, 07:08 AM	#8 (permalink)
Jwife22 Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: SC Posts: 1,020	Hi Pony-- I can relate to alot of what you wrote. My personal experience, and I am going to be totally honest here cause I'm not ready to admit this to my husband yet, is that I tend to say things like, I am gonna do this diet or that exercise or man I wish I could fit into a size 8 or something like that....but I don't follow through. Then when I don't follow through and I see all these bikinis and bathing suits, I am not happy that I don't have the figure (well atleast I don't think) to get into one. Well, that gets me into an even bigger funk and I think about just giving up all around...eating what I want, not moving my butt off the couch, not doing a darn thing. So, after a while, my husband says things like, well, maybe you shouldn't eat that or maybe you should start walking a treadmill etc. Things like, you know if you just watched what you ate for a while and really stuck to it, you'd be able to get into that bathing suit you saw or that size 8. I get so MAD and HURT but more and more recently, I have come to realize that maybe just maybe he is saying these things because I say them about myself. He says he is trying to be encouraging and helpful but it still HURTS me. So instead of believing that, I start emotional eating because I feel fat and feel like he doesn't find me attractive and that no man would ever want me if we weren't together. I guess what I am really saying is that I say all these things to myself or to him and that's okay but when it comes down to him saying them, I don't like it.