[caraway]

Thanks for sharing your experiences with depression Shutterbug. I went for years and year with awful depression, I would be lethargic indoors but when I went outside I was a nervous wreck. Walking into a shop and having to face people was a constant ordeal. I tried to explain it to doctors but never seemed to get much help. Once I remember getting some Ativan. The first one I took felt like a physical weight had been lifted off my head, but after that there was no effect and coming off them was worse than ever. Another time I actually got some antidepressants but when I took one I felt even heavier than before so I went to bed. When I got up my legs gave way under me. It really frightened me as my elder son was only about 18mts old at the time so I flushed them down the toilet. Finally, in more recent years I got some Prozac and it really works for me - providing I don't drink! I also have half inderal beta blockers for migraine which also help to calm me down - its just a low dose.

But its awful when doctors don't seem to believe you, like you just visit them for the fun of it (I hate going to the doctors). I can understand why you felt angry. I used to feel both angry and incredibly guilty like I believed what I thought was their view of me - a malingerer. Things are much better for me now though.