[lostnfound1961]

Thanks for the response. My brother too has diabetes and sneeks junk. He sneeks a lot of stuff. Most days are ok but sometimes I just need to talk to someone outside our little world here. My sister and I have been so hoodwinked by him. He has learned how to play the gilt game from my mom sooooooooo well. See we come from a family of Alcoholics and people with Mental issues. My mom and her mom had angziaty issues and unfortunatly we all got caught up in her angziaty (I know I am spelling that wrong) so much that it's a learned behavoir for us kids. We all have buttons and push them.

Off topic,
I love to sing and do Karaoke a lot, mostly at home. I have a song I am working on that I know I can do real well but can't seem to get through without crying. It's by Emmylou Herris and called Bang the Drum Slowly. It's a beautiful song about her dad who had died and it makes me think of my dad who died back in 1988 and even more so, my mom who died less than two years ago. I broak down big time last night. I have a lot of guilt about the day she died. She was in a lot of pain and they drugged her (per her request) into la la land untel she passed the next morning. Growing up, I was the one who put her back together when she fell apart, and I was the one who got her to laugh when all she could muster was to cry and here I was on the day she died, not able to do anything. I could hardly speak to say I love you mom. Once she was under and I knew she would not regain conchesness, I took my brother home and I too went home. I couldn't stand to just sit there and I didn't want to watch her die. I didn't think she would know I took off. NOW...... I feel extream gilt. OK, I just needed to get that out. I better move on and get some work done before I turn into a blubbering mess here at my desk.
Thanks again for the response and have a great day.
D