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What you described in top post was me for years, and I refused to see anyone, refused to believe there was a problem. Thought I was in control, until one day it was sooooo obvious I was not in control. That moment was the scariest in my life. I several times Ive decided again with meds that I have me under control, quit meds and very quickly spiral to a worse situation than before.
I urge you to keep with treatment and never have to experience the complete mania or complete low, as mine is usually in combo and not fun
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