[hippyhippy]

I have been diagnosed bi polar but I have major problems accepting diagnoses

I get very low. I contemplate suicide but do not really try it. I carry out silly behaviours that could ultimately lead to death but usually with the added prob of drink. When low I am classic depressive ie reclusive, appetite loss, paranoia. I get really scared during these times and think dark things a lot, but don't actually do anything. My past seems to weigh upon me heavily

Then I am on a plateau for a while.

Then I spend a bit too much (we are not talking major probs here) I am lively, I am happy, I don't think I am god or anything but I have increased confidence and sex drive, I volunteer to do things that I later back out of. My past feels happy.

Is this not normal mood swings? Am I on drugs for no reason?

What does it sound like?

Hippy