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right now i'm wondering if perhaps you are trying to do too much all at once? While I'm not advocating using drugs or harming yourself....i also know how difficult it can be to just LIVE when in a major depression. I hope you have lots of support systems in place like a therapist, psychiatrist, general doc, addition support group, etc.

No one should have to do this alone...and there are people who would be glad to be a support for you if you feel you can let them.

As for my form of self-injury...i feel it more shameful to talk about or acknowledge than my mental illness (bipolar/major depressive disorder). I have yet to open up completely to anyone, even here where i'm a waterfall of openness. I use my fingernails as my 'blades'. From the time i wake, till the time i go to sleep, it's a constant in my daily life. i scratch and claw and pick until i bleed sometimes. mainly around my face, scalp and neck, but also arms, chest....well....everywhere i can scratch or pick. when i'm super depressed or stressed...i can stand at the mirror literally for hours in an SI session. needless to say....it only takes more from my almost non-existant self-esteem. Granted, I can't die from tearing my skin to shreds as i do everyday.

I think concentrating on dealing with the SI first would be most beneficial, but talking to a doctor who's worked with hundreds of patients dealing with multiple issues would be the best idea...in my opinion. As they would know the safest and most affective types of treatment options to help you succeed in moving closer to being happy and healthy again.

Hugs,
Jenna