| thank you
thank you for replies.
I don't really want anything from my mother that I don't get already. She knows it was hard for me. Sometimes I get so angry at her skirting over it though. She will say things like "I know things were occassionally bad when your dad and I were drinking" but it wasn't occassionally and it wasn't bad, it was dreadful! Sometimes she paints a Mary Poppins type image of my childhood but it wasn't like that when I feared she would die by my dad killing her, or her setting the house on fire or choking on her vomit etc etc. She sometimes makes me feel guilty for finding motherhood difficult at times and in these times I want to blame her, say it is her fault. It is not, I am master of my own self.
I have spoken about it in counselling, but the counselling got cut short by her leaving. I now go to group therapy but don't want to talk about it as there is a man there who lost his family due to his alcohol addiction and I feel me going on about how awful it was for me, would be like putting salt in his wounds.
I have an assessment coming up for more counselling but there are so many issues I wish to explore, I don't know where to start.
Hippy
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