Anodyne

Thank you all very much for your input, and helping me feel less crazy. haha.

I did go to the doctor a few weeks ago and got some xanax (I had 14, for 7 days, still have four left, three weeks later, I don't want to get hooked on benzos, trade addictions) and some kind of anti seisure medicine to help me sleep.

Eventually last night I picked a spot on my hand, stared at it while it was feeling all crawly and just thought "ok, absolutely nothing there. So it feels crawly. SO what's the big deal?"

And as SOON as I stopped caring/worrying about it so much it dimished greatly. Didn't go away completely, but I was able to sleep...for all of an hour.

Fortunately I have a very understanding boss, who said this morning I can come in and do a few things that urgently need doing today, then go home and sleep.

And dgillz, some of that sounds horrible. I do remember that when I went to the doctor the first time, then again one week later, after being sober a total of 8 days, my blood pressure was dramatically lower than when I had gone in after 1 day of drying out.

I haven't experianced any real hallucinations, though for the first few days I do get some night terros and night sweats.

I do not want to go through this again. I'm not sure what I'm doing to stay sober except for 'not drinking' ...and we can see how well that worked. Made it a grand total of less than two weeks before saying to myself "ah, I've 'earned' it, I can drink one night"

That one night turned into three hazy days :|