for right now i am just doing what i am good at doing about money issues and that's the same as what PaperDolls wrote somewhere....i'm ignoring it. Not to the point of getting myself worse off, but of not worrying about it when i can't do anything about it at the moment and when i'm not yet completely drowning. I have a couple of more days before the total drowning begins and i'm hoping this serious depression will have lifted a great deal by that.....so that i will be capable of figuring things out like what to try to pawn and what to pay and all that stuff.
thanks guys, i'm feeling better tonight.
mom said she heard it in my voice immediately (before i said anything to her of how i was feeling). She said i sounded like i was doing better than when she talked to me earlier today. she was right and it made me feel good that she actually noticed a POSITIVE thing for a change! (and actually that she even could tell there was a difference...it told me she was paying attention....which told me she cared.) She's called me several times actually today since i told her how serious things are. I never say anything about hurting myself or even passively imply anything. i just told her i'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility of another hospital stay if things get much worse. So i guess she associates that with harming myself since the last stay was at the persuation of several of my mental health docs because they were nerveous i might go thru with something.
I hate that mom worries, but i guess i'd rather her know what's going on then for me to foolishly do something stupid out of desperation some day and for it to completely catch her off guard and not understand....that would be a lot harder for her to handle i think (which always makes me think back to the shock of my aunt's untimely death six years ago.)
anyway, point is...i feel better....hope i'm saying the same in the morning.
oh....and earlier i actually got a little physical energy to unpack a little bit (not much, but enough to make me feel a little better about things). And it was later when i read my horescope that surprized me again for today. It said:
Quote:
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Home is where the heart is. You'll gain inspiration and a sense of security if you pay attention to your living situation. Figuring out what goes where physically helps your mental state, too.
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LOL....isn't that a hoot!