welcome to S.R., i can feel your pain & i am glad you found us.there is alot of info here.read the stickys at the top of the forum.read"what addicts do".i am so sorry you re going through all of this.you did not CAUSE it,you can not CONTROL it & you can not CURE it. an addict sometimes never gets off their drug of choice.the addict in my life is my son. it is not curable & it is a long hard road.please keep coming back.let us know how u r .maybe you can find some meetings in your area.i will say a prayer for u & your b.f.