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I'm sorry, I'm not feeling too good..I can't settle, I keep being ill and I keep remembering i can't ground myself I can't do anything at the moment. I feel like i'm gonna cry but I won't let myself, I can't let myself. I'm back to work on Monday and I don't feel emotionally strong enough, but I have to. I've got more tramadol, I've got 150 cocktail of different tablets, i keep self harming and I've started back on self medicating. I'm sorry. now u see how bad I am and why I was punished. Sorry
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