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guineapigjude · 06-26-2007, 03:44 PM

AH and I go to court Friday for our divorce. I won't pretend that I'm not thrilled, but I do feel awful for him.
He is getting more and more out of control. I found out he got a $3000 personal loan, and has blown it on bills he can't pay because he works as little as possible. When I've had to talk to him during the day on various kid/divorce issues, he makes a point of telling me how late he's going to work, when I know he's quitting earlier and earlier. He's becoming increasingly needy, as in looking for my approval or praise for everything he does, and is getting emotional about the divorce HE wanted to begin with. He's, of course, also bragging about how he barely drinks any more, when I also know better than that. He calls to chat whenever he's had a few and is feeling lonely, sorry for himself, or wants to pretend we're still "good friends".
I have no intention of maintaining any sort of relationship with him, other than is needed regarding the kids, because I know he's toxic for me. I alternate between wanting to save and wanting to kill him! But I feel awful. It's like watching two trains barrelling head on into each other from a distance. You know there's gonna be a wreck, but you're powerless to stop it.
Any advice from those who have been through this? When he first left, I used to think I'd get satisfaction from seeing him crash and burn....now I know better. And I kknow I can't save him. But how do you let go of the worry? And the urge to step in?

06-26-2007, 03:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
guineapigjude Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 471	This chapter is closing... AH and I go to court Friday for our divorce. I won't pretend that I'm not thrilled, but I do feel awful for him. He is getting more and more out of control. I found out he got a $3000 personal loan, and has blown it on bills he can't pay because he works as little as possible. When I've had to talk to him during the day on various kid/divorce issues, he makes a point of telling me how late he's going to work, when I know he's quitting earlier and earlier. He's becoming increasingly needy, as in looking for my approval or praise for everything he does, and is getting emotional about the divorce HE wanted to begin with. He's, of course, also bragging about how he barely drinks any more, when I also know better than that. He calls to chat whenever he's had a few and is feeling lonely, sorry for himself, or wants to pretend we're still "good friends". I have no intention of maintaining any sort of relationship with him, other than is needed regarding the kids, because I know he's toxic for me. I alternate between wanting to save and wanting to kill him! But I feel awful. It's like watching two trains barrelling head on into each other from a distance. You know there's gonna be a wreck, but you're powerless to stop it. Any advice from those who have been through this? When he first left, I used to think I'd get satisfaction from seeing him crash and burn....now I know better. And I kknow I can't save him. But how do you let go of the worry? And the urge to step in?