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Hey Rain,
I feel your hurt.
Things don't get better when you're high. They only seem like they do. They actually get worse, much worse.
It seems like it's over with this guy. He doesn not love you. It's obvious.
You a little overweight is tons better than you addicted to coke.
"coke or killing myself"...hmmmm.....coke IS killing yourself.
You always have a decision.
Have you tried going to an NA meeting. Many are like you. I am exactly like you.
Take Care.
__________________
Progress,
Not
Perfection.
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