[shutterbug]

I second that too! Never offended by you Teach.

Tena, I've never heard or read it described as a "living death" but you are absolutely right - in that when people like you and I don't take our meds and keep vigil on our moods then our illness is very much a progressive one.

I've told many on SR that bipolar disorder is a progressive illness if not constantly monitored and medicated. That is why i'm still mad at all the docs who's offices i flooded with uncontrollable tears for weeks on end during my first major depressive episode. Anyone of them could have (SHOULD have) seen there was something more going on than just depression....and therefore they should have sent me to see a psychiatrist. If I had been diagnosed as bipolar at that time....then 7 years later i wouldn't have ended up in the mental hospital, loosing my job and struggling twice as bad (and long) as the first episode. I truely believe that those neglegent doctors could have kept me from loosing the nearly 2 years of my life that I recently spent in bed sleeping and wishing i were dead and thinking sometimes hourly about if i could ever actually bring myself to end it all.

Anyway, i know now that i will struggle with depression for the rest of my life, but perhaps i do dwell on it or over-identify with it and therefore make it worse. I don't know. I just know that i am depressed a lot more than i wish i were.

hugs,
Jenna