[t_a_n_y_a_]

I was doing so well. My thoughts and dreams even greatly subsided. Then I go to my aunts house (She doesn't know about my problem with cocaine). I'm with my mom who says she has a headache. My aunt brings out two bottles, one of fiurinal and one of Tylenol 3. Codeine was my first DOC and I abused it for many many years. I felt very uneasy. I didn't touch it that night and it stayed on the table for the whole time I was there. Then right before I lef I was sitting at the table staring at it and I grabbed 4 out of each bottle and left.

I can't believe I did that. I felt so ****** and awful after but not awful enough to not take them. After all this time I go back to my family, surprise my little cousin at her birthday party, I offer to help with everything and I ****** things up again.
I know she knows. She's always super nice in her emails and all she said this morning was she wouldn't need my help anymore for the barbeque and thats all. I don't know what to do. If I come clean and tell her I look awful, and then if I deny it i'm still a liar....ugh