Greet, Just wanted to add an example from my own life. I judge my daughter's abf as a creep. But I look at the facts. He gives my daughter drugs. He abuses and controls my daughter. He ignores his own three daughters. I really don't care if he had an abusive upbringing. I really don't care if at one time he was a nice person before drugs. All I know is what I see now. I stay away from him because he gives me the creeps. I cannot or will not be around him and I will not accept what he is doing. I don't do anything to him, I just stay away. Am I making a judgement. Yes, but it there to protect me. So that is a postive in my book. Hugs, Marle