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Old 06-10-2007, 10:02 AM
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LIL_Pebbles
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: 24/7 How Am I gonna Get claen, when Doctors don't help me?
Posts: 146
Hi,

I'm a mess, really I am. I was just on a taper and tapers, thought a Demon was in my room, thought of my dead brother who was killed drunk driving accident 1990, I would have these horrid images in my mind I could not shake out...as of now? i am i very slow withdrawl and I am depressed I want to get high on anything! I'm worst off. I had a panic disorder BEFORE I was a addict ( opiate addiction and dependacy for 4 years and now? I have taken valium w/ xanax and clonopin and beer at same time for any high...the sick thing is? I will crush and snif on damn fing percocete knwo yet it willl not get me high, but it is this sickness, tricks you, you all must know, right? I have found that my panic/anxiety is triggered by withdawl and the new way i think in which is not good. in honesty i lost 4 years and a black-out! I am 43 years of age, no kids thank God and I'm putting my mom through hell money wise, she has the money, it is just after my sister's and all she sees she is not helping me.
I have taken 5Mg's of Methadone and it works, but I wil crave and that is my issue the craving I don't smoke pot and want to do so as of now, I am lucky tho to be a Agoraphbic and family that uses have gotten their acts togather or else i would be with them. seeing this that are not there is serious, this drug took my mind away, yet i crave it with all the knowledge, somethimes the addictional mind is so over powering...So your a Vetran? I wish you luck and blessings that you will one day get a grip, as for me? I am seeking out methadone at a suboxone doctor apointment for the xanax 21 years i have been on? the combo can be fatal, so i hope for methadone, detox programs will not treat me with my legal Rx of xanax, so i am stuck and only getting worst as the past of my abusive childhood and lost of my brother so on is atacking me.
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