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Annie.
It is something we have to live with unfortunately. My counselor told me yesterday that my daughter, bipolar, personality disorder and also an addict, will not change unless she gets on her medication and stays on it. She is doing wonderfully right now. Functioning, going to work everyday, cooking meals and acting normal (whatever that is)
The counselor told me not to expect this to last. It was disheartening, but, at least I know what to expect and that is: her behavior is consistantly inconsistant.
My dear Annie. you inspire me every single day. I would love to be able to tell you to "do this" and it would all go away and everyone would be happy as clams.
Whatever the case, it is not up to us to change that person. We can only go along for the ride and do the best to change ourselves--and you did just that. You changed you.
I know you know all this but we can't go on blaming ourselves and wanting things to change when in essence we have no control over the outcomes.
I am waiting for the other shoe to drop with my grown daughter...she has attempted suicide before, twice and gets extremely depressed when using.
I know it will be painful when the inconsistant behavior flares, but now at least I am not living in a world where when she is ok I think she is going to stay that way.
Annie my dear sister I am holding your hand so very tight. I love you and pray for and think of you every day. We can and will get through this, with many gifts along the way, and lessons of love being shown to us.
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