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13 characteristics...
geeze I fit them all. Dad was mean to me, he favored my older sister. Everyone in my small town thought the world of him, jolly good fellow, give you the shirt off his back, he was a wood crafter and make toys and furniture for everyone.. but me. Told me to he wished I hadn't been born when I was 14. Continued to tell me what a burden I was having visitation 2 weekends a month.
Seems he disliked me. Worked too long in my life (first 20 years) trying to please that man. Even tho I knew he was horrible as a husband to my mom and father to me. He actually came to me 2 years after he left my mom for another woman (whom he married, he told me cause she had 5 boys and didn't want any girls) He told me during one of his visitations (i was 15) that he was seeing another woman and wanted my advice!!
Jack@ss.. Anyway, I wrote him off at 20. He died when I was 26, I'd always figured it'd be the drink not the smoke but it was lung cancer. It still just hurt. Knowing he'd never be who I needed him to be. Is that the loyality thing. Crap, it pissed me off when at his funeral how everyone described him as such a wonderful father. He had 14 bro's and sis's and not one knew who I was.
Yeah, I have problems with intimacy, truth, follow thru, and I'll be damn'ed as much as I said I would never allow in my home or drink the drink of his choice, somehow I end up with a live in B/F with a keg fridge of that very brand.
Went to counseling for all this stuff, she told me the questions to be answered before I commited to a serious relationship.. I didn't. crap.
Carla
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