Thank you as well, Morning Glory. I never realized that I would receive so much relevant information. Talk about relating to the content
I also think as someone said here that only I know if I'm using my Bi-Polar Disorder as an excuse for my behavior. My acting out has been limited to the web sites and to my wife, but all of the compulsions, obsessive thoughts, auto-eroticism,et al are there. The use of chemicals also is predominate as I've said before. I really appreciate the links which I will access ASAP.
I never imagined how damaging my behavior could be. I know that this is no revelation to other members here, but I just cannot believe the connection between addiction and destruction of one's entire life. Yes, as I could readily admit, while my marrage has went down the tubes, I am so afraid of the thought of my wife ever accepting me back, no matter how slim of a chance that I have in that happening. I fear intimacy. I fear being committed to a human being as my therapist(s) have always told me. It's so easy to resort to a computer and look at those who have been exploited for creeps like me. I really hate myself for ever going on the web and logging in to those damned sites.
You all have been so supportive since I joined the forum and it gives me hope that others can relate and also give so much information as well.
Thanks as always..
K