Thread: Liberation
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Old 05-15-2007, 07:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
Alive
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
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Lightbulb Liberation

There is no scum in the world.We are all product of judgment. Definition is a theoretical answer to fear of misunderstanding. We are not exact. Love is a word, but it’s the feeling with imperfection that makes it what it is….crazy. And what is that, but truth. Aren’t we all in a spiral of lies, provoked by laws defined at birth on your destiny. I judge no longer, I live no longer as a definable thing. Maybe God can’t accept me but I still do accept Him. Repression is obsession.What is exploitation but the lie that you are powerful. The truth is we are small when we’re evil and big when we’re real.Tell me, do you know me? No, you know me when I’m good, you know me when I’m bad, but do you know me when I’m in the middle? I don’t either.
We are brought up with reasons not to let go. It’s not an excuse, it’s a purpose for some to put restrictions on others that live by truth. For in society nothing hidden can be bad, but once out, it is outlawed. Everybody’s running from fear, how many live with no judgement?
I have learned it. Not today but a month ago. Somebody who sleeps with ten a time, somebody who drinks ten a time, somebody who shoots in ten a time, somebody who is ten people at a time but never him, they are all the flesh in destruction but lonely in emotions.I hold no judgement anymore. The real scum is the one who leaves no freedom.The real scum is lie, hypocrisy and misused power.
Tough I have never done it, every night I dream I sit on a house full of people doing destructive things.In that dream in an old house, some do drugs, others drink,others lay down. Somehow I am drawn to it. There is a complementation in it. Why? I am searching, digging, I will know soon why I have two sides…so opposite. The mind might be strange but there is a reason,that reason is the true connection with Him. There’s no justification in sin unless it is a reflex of who we are in that moment. I made a mistake for a reason, I am not that mistake but I am the man with a mistake in that moment. Something in the universe conveyed me to do so
I want to talk to people my age but I try and I haven’t found somebody troubled enough but wise, high on life, but not on substances. Do you know what it is to know you were searching for you in others and you were right there….
They told me love Jesus. I couldn’t until I found him. I was seventeen and I prayed that I loved God. I couldn’t.What are words if there are no tears on them. The day I found him was when I saw he is a man. He is me but he is perfect,he is you but he is perfect.Buda, Mohamed they all represent something equal….What is used in their name is repression. 2000 years after would he deny you a condom, let die in favor of your promiscuity….
They give you guilt to carry. Why should I have guilt, when guilt is exactly not learning. Guilt is not moving on. Guilt is not being able to say I made a mistake but I know better. Did I hurt you? I am sorry but what is sory really meaning unless it changes me forever…
So sobriety is not a day or days, it is a state of freedom, a place where you have understood you are not defined by words from outside. All I am is inside of me, the energy, the absorbtion of feelings, what I see of you isn’t really real but for me. I have a perception of my own. My own self love is knowing that, I can’t be you. I am not a pattern. I am a bunch of people that are imaginary and they convey into a future figure. No dramatic representation is stable. No mathematical man is anything without a soul, the numbers need a color and the paper needs passion.
For me sobriety is no longer just not abusing me, it is a different way of seing the world. Yes positive, but also knowing what is a spirit… Raised in church but a different type of faith. I celebrate it in my own way. I look at God I talk to him,need no translation, and why should I confess to a priest. He has seen everything I have done, from the smallest sin to the worst.No guilt, today I learn how to deal with guilt. If I learn from a mistake the mistake becomes a quality…….
“So dad, do you consider musicians marginals, drug addicts scum, crazy in a nut house: crazy. I consider them blessed to see hurt, to know people don’t love you for what you are but for what you can do for them. Don’t expect me to change me. Don’t bull* me with I can’t change the world. I can be an outsider but I am forever free….I refuse to be a puppet and perfect….I don’t need to go to a funeral and cry then…it’s during life I needed you. I needed you to say you love me anyway, because I still do love you, but I can’t trust you. when emotions call I wont call you. And I’ve lived afraid I would become you when I grew up.Well I am 22 and look I am crazy, nonfunctional, accepting of difference and yes I am not like you…I am screwed up but it’s a good thing.
I have the courage of telling you you should have the courage to decide your life.I am saved of shame and others. Why should I do it from 9 to 5 with no love?Why shall I do a job I don’t love. Listen, this is my life and I aint havin it.
My vision is different, my eyes are different. And shall I be ashamed, no. I am proud. I’ve realized how it’s good not to fall in categories. Those who love me love me for my uniqueness. And I thought all my life I was weak. No, there is a reason why you’re here still not to hurt your image and I am here still because I am not independent. You are more dependent than me. I depend on money, but you depend on character………”
And so I am learning so fast and so much. I don’t know why but putting back judgment, and giving myself freedom I’ve realized I no longer am just pure or just sinful. I am Adam in the beginning but I am also the choice of eating the wrong fruit. And if I take it, I can put it back. I never though at the time when I should be completely unaware of me I am knowing that the one I become is completely unknown to me. From being an image I want to be a reflexion, a true reflexion of my soul. So take me for what I am. This is my paradigm. Ma liberation, a minha libertação……….And starting from scratch is not doing over….It is the other level of a spirit that understands somewhere inside my body there is something that commands a life.A form of energy with a purpose…..I am only begging to get it now.
wow....

Liberation
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the biggest power a being is given is the now. in the now there is will, choice and therefore a power with no boundaries; for what is born from pure love has no seasons, only continuity, then growth. your spirit will tell you the truth. there's a silence within the silence.
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